4 years ago this month, our entire community was changed forever. We all remember hearing the news of missing, AJ Freund. We remember seeing the helicopters and feeling the constant tension in the air. The anticipation of what was to come, still hoping for the best and preparing for the worst.

I personally remember having my kids come home after school as asking me if they found the little boy and having to tell them that they had not. Then the news came and time stood still in Crystal Lake and all of the surrounding communities. He had been found. We were all in shock. How can this happen? How did we not know? That shock, turned into sadness which led many to anger. People took that anger to social media. They were looking for someone to blame. DCFS workers, the police, family and, of course, the parents. We all helplessly waiting for the next update while we read comments online. Everyone was grieving together but didn’t know what to do next.

As I watched the misinformation spread about abuse and DCFS and foster care, I felt a need to make a post of my own. I was and still am fully aware that the system is broken, but I also know that the case workers and many other staff in DCFS and private agencies do care a lot about the kids. They are overworked and trying to work within the broken system. I felt a need to defend the workers but at the same time, I wanted to challenge the people claiming that “they would have done something if they knew”. So I called for them to step up. I called for them to help “all of the other AJs out there”. You can foster, you can become a CASA, or now, you can support organizations like ours who help support the kids and families even BEFORE the kids are taken into care. Everybody can do something to help.

I remember watching my post spread like wildfire. 1.3k likes and 873 shares. Just a personal post off of my personal facebook page was impacting people. A facebook memory then popped up reminding me that it had been one year since we were able to give our youngest the news that we finally had an adoption date set for him. So that’s when I decided to act. I threw together a flyer without much thought complete with typos and even my personal address asking for supplies with the hope to fill 20 care bags for kids entering foster care. I pulled in my youngest, Michael, and asked him on his first night in a new place, what are things that would make him feel comforted. He said a toy that was just his, a blanket and a stuffed animal. So that’s what we did. We added a few toiletry items and extras and our “Stuff the Duffel” wish list was complete. I posted the flyer and the community sure did show up.

Within a day, we were making space in our garage because we had outgrown the dining room and within 3 days we were looking at an 18,000 ft warehouse. It became very clear that it wasn’t just my family that was looking for something to do or a way to heal. Stuff the Duffel was a way for everyone to feel like they were able to help in some way and to try and make something positive come out of an unimaginable tragedy. Hundreds of businesses became drop off locations, girl scout troops, schools, moms groups, churches, neighborhoods and individuals collected supplies for eventually hundreds of volunteers to put together over 4,000 care bags. We also ended up with two semi trucks worth of extra supplies that then were distributed to many other non-profits in our area. Through the month of May 2019, it because obvious that the community members wanted to help kids in foster care but they just didn’t know how.

As a foster parent for 15 years, I knew that the care bags are used but more than anything, they are a symbol. The duffels are filled with essential items needed for that first night in a new home but as any foster parent will tell you, so much more help is needed. Second Bridge was created to continue the momentum from Stuff the Duffel and to expand our support and reach to more kids in care and for more needs of those children.

Since then, Second Bridge merged with Kids In Need of McHenry County and now runs as a program. Kids In Need (KIN) still supports foster children but we also support kids that have been identified through school social workers as well as children involved in agencies in-tact family programs. We are not only supporting the children who have been abused and neglected but we are supporting stressed families to help prevent abuse and neglect.

So has the system changed? In some ways yes, but honestly in most ways, no. But remember, there are a lot of “AJs” still out there. Vulnerable kids in all of our communities. Kids who need our help and support. We need more foster homes, we need CASA, we need volunteers, we need donors. If you know a foster family, support them in any way possible. Bring a meal or just check in. We need to support the good homes we already have so that we don’t lose them as much as we need new homes.

A lot has happened in these 4 years. Most kids have been lost in the system but there have been success stories too. We at KIN, strive to fill the gaps in services and support the caregivers, social workers and CASA so the the kids in their care can thrive. We will continue to do our work and continue to grow with your support. We are honored to be a part of this amazing community and appreciate your continued support of us so we can help the vulnerable kids as much as we can.

~Alicia Wehby, Director of Second Bridge Program with Kids In Need of McHenry County.